So here I am. Sitting up in bed, dreading my new writing project. Feet heavy and insistent on immobility. I get up anyway. Brush my teeth, wash my face and shower. Eat. Clean up a bit. Maybe vacuum and dust, do the dishes. Dilly-dally some more thinking, ‘how can I avoid today’? But then I suck it up and get on with it. Time to be a big girl. Because I do this every time, procrastinate in the same way every time, think myself in circles every time, until the inevitable happens – me in my makeshift office, folding chair and folding table set up in the storage room. So there I am, and it only took me three hours this time.
Procrastination has got to be my worst enemy. Thankfully, I know where it comes from – fear. I have a bear-sized fear of failure (who doesn’t), and a need for everything I do to come out perfect (which it never will). And so far, the only way I’ve found to combat these fears is to use the power of momentum. Instead of letting my anxiety build up over the myriad of ways I can fail at what I’m doing, or even just thinking about doing, I need to get off my high-horse that always tries to convince me that if it ain’t perfect don’t bother. Instead of sitting on my ass all day daydreaming about how cool it would be to set something down on paper and have it be glowingly perfect, I reposition my thinking process to that of work, and more importantly, I start working. The key word here being ‘start’. Unless there is movement of some kind, in any direction, you cannot reach an end-goal. And with movement comes a building of momentum that propels you towards that end-goal.
No matter how bad I may want to run away, no matter how obsessive I can get over doing something in just the right way, I know that if I just sit down and start moving I can outrun the fear. Without movement there is no progress. Without movement there is no destination. Without movement there is absolutely nothing left for you, not here in the present and most certainly not way out there in the future. So move.