While in the hospital, I found myself giving advice to my roommate. Hypnotize yourself and give suggestions that invoke calm throughout your day. Meditate for a few minutes a day. Oh? You like walking? Then, do waking meditations as often as you can; try a hiking trail even. Just breath, 4-count inhale, 6-count exhale. Get it aaaalllll out.
While I used to do some of these things myself, I’ve long since stopped, which made me feel like a hypocrite. And while the techniques I used on myself did work – hypnosis, meditation, measured breathing – I had been so hopeless for so long that I’d just given up trying to help myself any further.
I know now this is wrong, foolish even. I am just as important, just as in need of love, as my former roommate, and I should show that love to myself first and foremost. For we cannot truly take care of one another unless we take care of ourselves.
There were times when I wanted to tell my roommate certain things to try to see if this way or another would help. However, because of those ‘hypocrite, hypocrite’ yells in my head, I did not have the confidence to try to help further. I feel as though if I had been taking care of myself, then, I would have been able to be of greater service to them.
I would like everyone who tends to put others before themselves to seriously consider, and remember, your own worth. Your own needs need tending to, just like those we wish to serve.