My greatest fear is success. That may seem strange to you, since it’s usually the opposite people fear. But for me, the worst thing that can happen is success.
What is success? Success, to me, is purposeful action and responsibility toward not only myself, but others. Success is knowing what I want, making a plan of action, and following it through. Success is the ability to interact with others in a fulfilling and enlightening way. Success is meeting disappointment with a smile and a firm handshake. Success is building ladders and bridges where there were none. Success is the hardest thing to come by and even harder to hold on to. But I think what scares me most are the expectations.
When you’re successful, people hear about you. When people hear about you, they want to know more about you. When people know enough about you, they start expecting certain things from you. When people expect things from you, it is easier to let them down.
I am afraid of disappointing others. I desperately need to be wanted and this is what sets me up for pre-mature failure. I can’t always please everyone. Hell, I can’t always please the same person. And that’s something I have to learn to deal with. Because more than likely that’s going to happen a lot.
I have to learn to get over myself and just be myself. I have to let go of others’ expectations because they were never mine to begin with. It’s okay to let people down from time to time. It’s okay to set myself free from the expectations of others. I can only hope that the more I tell myself this, the sooner it will be.